Count to ten....breathe

Where do I start? Today was a good day...productive, fun, rainy, good eating by both kids, nice visit with Papa and Mimi. Then there was bedtime. Honestly, wine was created specifically because of bedtime for kids. Why, oh why, can't kids go quietly and happily to bed in a timely manner when you've methodically adhered to a very rigid routine for three years to accomplish just that? It's not enough to read one book, two books or even three...nope gotta read the entire library. You also have to wrangle two wiggly, jiggly, curiously strong and lightening fast kids into diapers and pajamas (after, of course, sitting through ten minutes each of potty time); brush their teeth with some degree of effectiveness; comply with an INSANE list of elaborate routines (more on that later); hunt for the elusive duckie (or hide him as the case may be) all before the witching hour of 8:00 p.m.! And, while hopefully avoiding any tears (theirs or yours...doesn't matter)! Good times. This is an almost impossible task with two parents, let alone one.

Between Ava and Caroline, I think the naughty chair count reached five tonight. Caroline one, Ava four. And they went to bed without stories, the naked dance, and bottles (trying to quit) because the shenanigans went on and on and on. Screams and ranting are still audible upstairs - and in my head - and it's 9:30 p.m. I still need to pack us all up for our trip to Maga's cabin in the morning.

I don't know what Ava was on tonight, but putting a kid in the naughty chair when they're laughing hysterically at you and goofing off...rather than throwing a tantrum... is a test of willpower to not laugh yourself. I had to be serious, and I was. But that cute face of hers with her funny-as-hell little squatty dance and gurgly song was almost too much. However, after the third time out of the chair, a pretty hard slap in the face and an attempted biting, my sense of humor waned.

Needless to say, I'm downstairs calming my nerves with a little vino and letting off steam through my fingers (typing). I love my ladybugs, but where the hell is my Calgon?!!!!

Now, back upstairs to break up the party in Ava's bed....

Postscript: Ok, round two just ended. It's 10:30 p.m. and Ava is downstairs in the "Angel Bed", Caroline just made herself throw up from crying and I've sung every lullaby I know. The silver lining?: when I went in their room to break up the party, silently grabbed Caroline and her duckie, pillow and star blanket (since she was the one out of her bed) and proceeded downstairs, only to be followed by Ava saying, "But Mama, I was naughty too. Can I come downstairs too?" She volunteered to take Caroline's place downstairs in the Angel Bed. She regretted it later, but how sweet.

And now...SILENCE